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Thursday, August 26, 2004 What's Your Compulsion?
There!, I said it! The "C" word. And, in recent years, it usually is always used in combination with the "O" word. No, NO!, Not those words! But, forget about the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic Medical Reference definition for the term "obsessive-compulsive," and let's just see what our good old resource Merriam-Webster has to say:
So many otherwise regular John/Jane Does on the street want to label people with the phrase "obsessive-compulsive" as if every varying degree of this behavior is automatically a bad thing. How did a mass population of regular "Johns/Janes" obtain the necessary authoritative skill to arbitrarily label their fellow human beings in such a derogatory manner? I don't need someone to point a finger in my direction. I will readily step up and say, "Hello! My name is Kitty, and I'm prone to certain compulsions in varying degrees of an obsessive nature. Furthermore, I will also admit that some are basically harmless, while others, left unchecked, can (and will) venture into a more destructive path." Probably some of my earliest recollections that might be construed as falling into this category was my passion for coloring books and crayons. Yes, I think I might have been four or five at the time. After I gained possession of the Holy Grail, better known as the Crayola Crayon 64 Count Box with the Built-In Crayon Sharpener in the back, each visit to the store meant a new coloring book. And, not just any coloring book -- the decision took time, effort and a perusal of every book for sale on the rack, much to the dismay of my parents who had to wait impatiently for me to make my perfect selection. And, when coloring, there were specific rules that had to be followed. No more than one crayon could be removed from the box at a time so that it could be returned to the exact same location from which it was taken. Color outside the lines? Me? Never! Deviate from the colors used on the fronts and backs of the coloring books? Never! Let anyone else use my crayons or color in my books? NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! Teen years were all about purses and costume jewelry. The more I had, the more I wanted. Then, in my twenties, I discovered two new Holy Grails . . . silk scarves and designer shoes! My best friend Rhonda and I would literally go on tri-state shopping sprees in a single day in search of the newest in designer shoes and scarves that no one else in town would have. It was nothing to either of us to whip out the old charge cards and drop $100 here on a designer label silk scarf, or $300 there on the newest top name shoes. Of course, we always had to toss in new outfits, jewelry, make-up, lingerie and assorted accessories to make the day complete. At this point, I will admit this overspending -- most on 22% - 24% interest credit cards -- crossed the line into dangerous behavior indeed. And, when my s.o. discovered my $18,000.00 credit card debt -- well, let's just say the proverbial **** hit the fan! My wonderful, glorious, "thrill-of-the-hunt" shopping spree days were over, AND I was in debt up to my eyeballs! And, during this time, in a less-than-amicable discussion (translate argument), my s.o. shouted, "I bet you have at least fifty pairs of shoes in your closet that you never even wear!" Not one to be challenged, I immediately went upstairs to count my shoes and prove him wrong. I had one hundred sixty-seven pairs of shoes, not counting sneakers, sandals and boots! Uh-OH! Time for a Twelve-Step Shoe-Addict Program! This led to my next destructive compulsion -- overeating. I dealt with the stressors in my life by "invisible" overeating . . . the kind that "didn't-count" because no one saw me doing it. I ate in my car, I hid food, I ate alone at home, directly out of the refrigerator -- standing up, in front of the fridge, with the door open. No dishes, no evidence, except for my ever-expanding waistline! Logically, I knew my more destructive behaviors were just that -- DESTRUCTIVE -- but, try rationalizing with a personality that has compulsive tendencies that have no basis in logic or reason. I'm the same way when I walk into a casino (which is why I usually avoid them)! I know (logically) that I have x-number of dollars to gamble with and, if I increase my winnings, I should stop. Or, in the alternative, if I lose, I should stop. Does this mean I do? Of course not! Instead, I'm already scoping out the closest ATMs and keep gambling until someone literally drags me out of the casino -- usually penniless! With so-called maturity *cough-cough* I've gained control over the more dangerous compulsions -- no more wild shopping sprees, no more compulsive overeating, no excessive gambling, no more chasing 'bad-boys' (oh, wait!, I didn't confess that one, did I?) -- but, there are still a few things I can't give up . . . I'm a total candle freak (Yankee and Trapp only), an avid bibliophile with a bulging, and ever-growing, library (now, mainly interior design books for work, forensic research books for 'lite' reading, and an array of self-help books *ha-ha*), loads of DVDs and CDs (I have wildly eclectic tastes in movies and music), and unusual police collectibles and memorabilia. (Okay!, and an "occasional" overindulgence at Victoria's Secret!) And, yes, I do check the stem on my wind-up alarm clock several times (seven, in fact, it's my "number") before falling asleep to make sure it really is pulled all the way out. Does this mean I'm textbook "OCD?" Probably not! :rolleyes: Originally published Sunday April 06, 2003 (bw) 2003 © Copyrighted Materials - All Rights Reserved. Susan Reno-Gilliland A Southern Belle's Life # posted by Kitty : 6:13 PM
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"a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma" --- Miss Kitty, an Irish lass, a true Southern Belle; writer, photographer, artist, interior designer, animal-lover, dreamer, stargazer, cop-groupie, 70's junkie, cbc, slightly obsessive iNFp with stories to tell! ... (fascinated by forensics, human behavior, pushing all the right buttons of men she finds interesting, and seeking utterly-sweet revenge without any repercussions. ) --- "Darlin', don't ever take a Southern woman for granted!" [tm] Feeling the uncontrollable urge to shower me with gifts?!? Check out my Amazon 
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